OK, Theresa, just breathe slowly… Now all you have to do is put on your big girl panties and go for it! Seems so simple, really. But after being on a high from being told "you're on the board," I got a realistic shot in the arm.

The makeover: I just knew they would cut my hair. However, I wasn't prepared for my reaction. It had been 30 years since my hair had been "short." I have trouble with change. I change my underwear and almost hyperventilate. Thank goodness Cutler Hair Salon is staffed by professionals who have great insight. But this day took a lot of deep breathing.

Another sudden change on the bus was simply to play with our heads. I don't recommend changing your clothes on a city bus in downtown New York! But I did make a mental note to always carry 50 lbs. of clothing with me – just in case.

Upon arriving at the audition, the advertising clients had Dolores, Jacqueline and me leave the room almost immediately. We missed all of the drama but I knew something was up, just a bad feeling. When the women came out of the room, it felt as if an explosion went off! Shelly was ranting and screaming at LeeAnne and Laurie. We all just sat there shocked and embarrassed.

Several thoughts were going through my head. Did Shelly really believe she wasn't beautiful? Why did she need a bunch of strangers telling her that she was? Would it make that much of a difference in her life if they didn't, or was this just an act? I felt like I was in that show with a bunch of teenagers vying to be discovered as supermodels — not confident, strong, intelligent women who were 35 and older.

Just breathe…

Finally, at the photo shoot, we got to have some fun. The gorgeous dresses were already chosen for us. The hair and makeup artists did all the magic with our baggy, bloodshot eyes and flat hair. How could we go wrong? Some women were uncomfortable with the dress choices but I told them "The secret is to not let anyone know about it." The model always has to look like she loves the clothes and can't wait to wear them. No matter how many Spanx it takes to look great!

The First Elimination Day
All the women knew something was up with Laurie that morning. She hadn't slept in a few days and was exercising excessively. She had awakened me at 2 a.m. and said "God had told her in a dream to get all of the women together and refuse to compete as a group." I then told her, "God had spoken to me, too, and he said to tell you that you need to go downstairs and sleep." She did.

Another really big breath…

I found that I would be saying this to myself over and over again. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? If we had five different judges tomorrow, they would choose completely different women. It is incredibly subjective, period. But all in all, I am finding most of the women are competitive, yes, but also kind, strong and fabulous. It is an honor for me to be included in this group. Sadly, we find the future brings out the dishonest and manipulative behavior in one of our own. Stay tuned.

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