As Theresa and I stood in from of Kim waiting for the winner's name to be called, I was calm and cool — no nerves whatsoever. I felt by making it as far as I had, I'd already won, finally getting a taste of the dream that I had for more than 20 years. To me, winning the entire competition was considered something extra, icing on the cake. I knew that Theresa and I both deserved it. She was a phenomenal woman. I wanted it, but she needed it. I was actually torn.

Hearing my name announced as the winner was one of the most surreal experiences I've ever experienced. It was such an emotional moment, one that I relive over and over again. Theresa was truly happy for me, and it proved that she's even more phenomenal than I already knew she was.
Have you ever had something you're so passionate about that you can't sleep, and it makes you excited to get out of bed each and every morning? That's what my experience was before being picked for She's Got The Look. I checked TV Land's website every day looking for the dates of the open calls. I couldn't get it out of my mind. I felt a connection so strong to this dream, and knew that the timing couldn't be more perfect. I was about to send my only child to college, and needed to find something that I was excited about. After becoming a young single mother, I put off my dream of being a model so that I could be there for my son. I thought, “Maybe when he leaves for college, I'll get an opportunity for my big break.” It was something that I learned to not speak about, as I didn't want to hear the naysayer's opinions: “You're going on 40, isn't that a little late to start a modeling career?” I kept the dream alive within myself. Even when I had nowhere to live with my child after escaping an abusive relationship, I still had my dream, and that was something no one could ever take from me!

Winning this competition — heck, even being chosen as a finalist — was validation to me that my motto “anything's possible” isn't just an empty belief. It became my truth.

My advice to others trying to realize their dreams:
1) You must have an absolute passion for it.
2) A strong “knowing” that it's possible.
3) Detaching from the outcome. This is what I did. I had no fear, no expectations, and was at peace with whatever would come from this. I didn't need to win, I wanted to win, which definitely makes a difference in our experiences. I went for my passion and left the rest up to the universe. Unfortunately, Sean and Beverly saw that as me being aloof or detached, while Robert recognized it as a quiet, peaceful confidence.

During the auditions for the show, the most difficult part was feeling like the judges were pretty hard on me. Going into the audition, I didn't feel nervous at all. I just knew this was where I was supposed to be, and it would all go smoothly. Until I told the judges my name — and heard the wrong age come out of my mouth. “Did I just say what I thought I said?” And just in case, I started over with the correct age. Was it nerves? I don't think so. Do I occasionally lie about my age for some benefit? Never. (At the time my husband and I were excitedly planning my big 40th birthday bash!) The judges gave me such a hard time, it would have been easier to make up an answer, but I just couldn't — that's not me.
Once I arrived in New York, I still felt like Beverly “had it in for me.” As I started heeding their critiques and using them to better myself with each challenge, she began to take notice. That's when I realized she expected more out of me than I was giving, and was pushing me to do better. I truly appreciate her for that!

The most rewarding aspect of this whole experience is hoping that my story will inspire others, especially women (this was one of my goals in wanting to do this show). I also am grateful for the lifelong friendships I've made, and last but certainly not least, finally realizing an unfulfilled lifelong dream!

Best,
Cindy

Powered by Bookmarkify™