As Theresa and I stood in from of Kim waiting for the winner's name to be called, I was calm and cool — no nerves whatsoever. I felt by making it as far as I had, I'd already won, finally getting a taste of the dream that I had for more than 20 years. To me, winning the entire competition was considered something extra, icing on the cake. I knew that Theresa and I both deserved it. She was a phenomenal woman. I wanted it, but she needed it. I was actually torn.
Hearing my name announced as the winner was one of the most surreal experiences I've ever experienced. It was such an emotional moment, one that I relive over and over again. Theresa was truly happy for me, and it proved that she's even more phenomenal than I already knew she was.
Have you ever had something you're so passionate about that you can't sleep, and it makes you excited to get out of bed each and every morning? That's what my experience was before being picked for She's Got The Look. I checked TV Land's website every day looking for the dates of the open calls. I couldn't get it out of my mind. I felt a connection so strong to this dream, and knew that the timing couldn't be more perfect. I was about to send my only child to college, and needed to find something that I was excited about. After becoming a young single mother, I put off my dream of being a model so that I could be there for my son. I thought, “Maybe when he leaves for college, I'll get an opportunity for my big break.” It was something that I learned to not speak about, as I didn't want to hear the naysayer's opinions: “You're going on 40, isn't that a little late to start a modeling career?” I kept the dream alive within myself. Even when I had nowhere to live with my child after escaping an abusive relationship, I still had my dream, and that was something no one could ever take from me!
Winning this competition — heck, even being chosen as a finalist — was validation to me that my motto “anything's possible” isn't just an empty belief. It became my truth.
My advice to others trying to realize their dreams:
1) You must have an absolute passion for it.
2) A strong “knowing” that it's possible.
3) Detaching from the outcome. This is what I did. I had no fear, no expectations, and was at peace with whatever would come from this. I didn't need to win, I wanted to win, which definitely makes a difference in our experiences. I went for my passion and left the rest up to the universe. Unfortunately, Sean and Beverly saw that as me being aloof or detached, while Robert recognized it as a quiet, peaceful confidence.
During the auditions for the show, the most difficult part was feeling like the judges were pretty hard on me. Going into the audition, I didn't feel nervous at all. I just knew this was where I was supposed to be, and it would all go smoothly. Until I told the judges my name — and heard the wrong age come out of my mouth. “Did I just say what I thought I said?” And just in case, I started over with the correct age. Was it nerves? I don't think so. Do I occasionally lie about my age for some benefit? Never. (At the time my husband and I were excitedly planning my big 40th birthday bash!) The judges gave me such a hard time, it would have been easier to make up an answer, but I just couldn't — that's not me.
Once I arrived in New York, I still felt like Beverly “had it in for me.” As I started heeding their critiques and using them to better myself with each challenge, she began to take notice. That's when I realized she expected more out of me than I was giving, and was pushing me to do better. I truly appreciate her for that!
The most rewarding aspect of this whole experience is hoping that my story will inspire others, especially women (this was one of my goals in wanting to do this show). I also am grateful for the lifelong friendships I've made, and last but certainly not least, finally realizing an unfulfilled lifelong dream!
Best,
Cindy
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BOPG: (Big Ol' Pretty Girl)
I love the fact that being a model is not over for me!!! I'm a 41 year old married mother of 5. 4 i've given birth to and 1 step daughter. I'm a 5 foot 6 inches and 205 pounds African American woman. Nobody would ever given me a second look. But I know I can do it!!!! I've always known that was Queen, and the runway is were I've wanted to be. I am not a product of my enviorment, and I am Who I Say I AM!!!!!!!! Thanks Cindy for lettting me see that its never to late to dream BIG!!!!! Yolanda (BOPG)
Congratulations Ijust wanted to say a woman of your beauty very well deserved to win. I only hope you keep up thr modeling career. I wish the best for you and your family.. Again Congratulations…
I am glad to see a show that gives woman of the age of 35 and older another chance to model….When your that age at some agencies they say no your too old…But then you see all kinds of models of that age acting and in the industry.. I am glad to see cindy in…I am glad to see sean giving ethnic models opportunity….stay strong cindy…I am so excited if i can just be on the show it would mean the world to me….crystal payne signing form louisville ky..it would be nice if auditions could be in louisville.I love this industry …i could use a chance…..love you wilhemina. i always wanted to model in nyc….
Sometimes when it seems like life is falling apart…it's really falling together. Everything has fallen into place for you Cindy because you have never let go of your passion. The beauty of the belief. Bravo!
I am very happy for Cindy; and her hopes in inspiring others to attain their goals and pursue their dream of modeling has inspired me to do the same.
Good luck to her in her current and future endeavors!
Anything is Possible… I live by that but somedays it's easier to believe then others. When I need a reminder, I read Cindy's story. It keeps me going. We both but our dreams on hold for the betterment of our child but now it's our time. Now I added the motto.. "It's never too late" Thanks Cindy for following through with your dream because it's causing others to follow theirs!
I always believe anything is possible but some days are easier to believe then others. So on days I get doubts, I read this. Now I KNOW anything is possible. This was more then a competition it was validation of what we believe…."Anything is Possible"
Cindy,
Congrats on your win!
You are the kind of person they look for to represent a modeling agency. You stayed focused on the task at hand and didn't get caught up in gossip or negative feelings towards the other women.
I hope to audtion for next season and mirror you and Delores – your beautiful INNER spirits showed on your faces and THAT'S what they mean by you have " the LOOK" !
Fondly,
Jeanne (hoping to audtion for next season!)
http://www.myspace.com/LookForeverYoung
Dearest Cindy,
I somehow came across your myspace page 2 years ago and after purchasing your book "Live the life of your dreams in 30 days or Less" I have been grateful for women like you that go for what they want, share their pearls of wisdom, believe in themselves and encourage others to move forward as well.
Seeing you win the this competition was again, very inspiring. It is so beautiful to see a woman embrace, nurture and show her confident beauty. You were living your dreams and you when you said I wanted this, not needed it…helped me understand the easy transition of flawlessly falling where we want to be and appreciating the process.
Congratulations! You not only have "the look" but you are the total package. Beauty on the inside as well as the outside. I can't wait to watch you succeed on this journey!
Thank you so much for the courage to share some of your story. It is so important for women who are suffering from abuse to hear about the choice you made to leave having nowhere to go (I only wish I had made that same choice earlier in my situation as the waiting cost me dearly) and to see you now flourishing and realizing your dreams gives me hope for my future. You are an inspiration to me and even though I am ten years older than you, reading your words help me to keep going in the pursuit of my dreams. I wish you and your family the very best and am looking forward to seeing you continue to pursue and realize all of your dreams and goals. The best of luck to you Cindy!
Cindy-
I am so glad to see that your dreams are coming true and that you had the courage to take this chance. I always knew that you had something special and that I would someday see you on this path. You really do have true beauty inside and out. You have inspired me to take a new look at myself and my dreams. Thanks for that gift. Also you rocked that red dress, way to wotk it! Congrats.
Well said, Cindy. I really appreciate your advice to others, ESPECIALLY #3, "detaching from the outcome." That's the hardest part, but it's the only way to get through things sometimes. I look forward to reading more of your blog entries and seeing you in print and TV ads!
Congrats, Cindy!
You really grew as a model throughout the season. Your runway strut was the most confident of the final three. You looked amazing in the feathered dress.
Best of luck to you in your new found career.
Cindy,
I'm very proud of you and even more proud of how you channeled construction criticism into energy. And there you have it; the makings of a champion! I couldn't be prouder…Than I've always been.
I loved the show and love this personal touch even more. Cindy, I believe you stand for many people. Woman who are now redefining their rolls and following their dreams. This was more then a TV show for me, it was hope that dreams do come true. I hope you keep writing and we keep seeing you because whether you like it or not you have become an inspiration. Keep following your dreams because in the process you are helping so many follow theirs. Great show and what an awesome winner!
I just wanted to let you know that not only are you beautiful outside, but your personality from watching the show all these weeks truly makes you a beautiful person. Beauty only last 10 minutes and then the true person comes out. Your beauty inside and out was truly amazing. Your graceful, elegant and classy. I sure your family is very proud of you and they should be. You set out to do something you felt was right, and you got it. Good luck with everything. You so deserved it.
Cindy, after reading your blog, I can definitely see you were the only one who should take the top spot. Not to take away anything from Theresa or LeeAnne, but I can see it was your time. You not only have beauty inside and out, but a confidence only wisdom gained from life experiences can give. I saw it in you when you confronted Shelly. How I admire a person who can be self-assured and firm without being bitchy! You didn't hold a grudge either, which clearly indicates you are gracious and humble. These are all qualities I believe make you the perfect candidate to take the top prize. You know how to handle yourself.
I follow you on Twitter, and I look forward to reading more of your posts and blogs. You are a truly an inspiration to me. Now, go knock 'em dead!!
Cindy,
I am so happy for you, I have been watching the show from day one and you were my favorite. I knew that you would win this competition. You Rock!! This is an honor to know that women over the age of 35 can still be a model, what an inspiration you are to us women over the age of 35. Cindy You Have The Look.. Congratulations and wishing you the best of luck!!!
I must say that I am so happy Cindy won last night. I think she is an amazing women. Throughout the entire competition she handled herself professionally, she was so polite and showed such compassion to her peers which I admired most. CIndy wasn't petty. Best of all she is a gorgeous women who truly showed that anything is possible no matter how old you are, dreams can come true. The winning team for me was Cindy and Theresa and my heart went out to her too. I kept telling my girls how I wish they had 1st anad 2nd place so that Theresa could get one, nut either way she's also a winner because she made it to ther final. Cindy I wish her all the best in her future career and Theresa I know will get plenty of jobs in modeling because she also has the look. Cindy, you go girl. I am so happy for you God bless you and your family. I know they are excited for you.
I can't wait to see the next season of SHE'S GOT THE LOOK. I am a true fan for real now.